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Jeff?s Big List O? Google Searches That Turn Up www.plasmafunk.com (Volume X)
-jeffrey

These are all real searches done by real people. The did these searches on various search engines (mostly Google) and ended up at our site after it came up as a result for their search. This is the tenth edition of such lists. Happy reading!

?cold mountain sex scene?
This has become one of our most popular searches. That must be some sex scene. I need to go see this movie as soon as possible.

?they're outta control?
Whoa!!!! Watch out!

?jack white and renee zelwegger?
?Zelwegger? rolls right off your tongue, doesn?t it?

?i'm not your middleman?
And I?m not your center guy!

?any random wood crap to make?
This person is quite specific in their woodworking.

?animals wearing earmuffs?
You?ve got to be sure that your animals are fully prepared for the winter season.

?when a woman says fine she really means that i'm very pissed off?
Unless she?s saying, ?You look fine, baby!?

?gem brilliant uncirculated mean?
Hey everybody, it?s another wonderful Google search! Woo!

?homeless politician?
This is what I hope to aspire to.

?diaper changer machine?
I wish I had kids so that I could use a diaper-changing machine. Maybe I?ll adopt some.

?midget bodyguards?
They?re the best kind!

?top ten reasons why i love my girlfriend?
The internet has answers to all life?s important questions.

?underwater girls photography pool?
I?m quite partial to underwater girls.

?oakland tear gas police subdue?
It?s time to express my emotions via punctuation. ; ) Oh yeh! That was fun!

?prison break dog song country?
A dog breaking out of prison is a topic you would only find in country music.

?cracker jack phone number?
Whenever someone says ?cracker jack,? I think of a white guy named Jack.

?nude garden gnome pictures?
My nude garden gnome is sure to be the envy of all my neighbors!

?kinky giraffes funny?
Maybe all those spots on their necks are really hickeys.

?kids blowing bubbles for the camera underwater?
Do you still want the pictures if they?re blowing bubbles for their own enjoyment, and not for the camera?

?steak n cheese prank calls?
I can?t imagine what this prank call would consist of.

?funny ways to order chinese food?
The possibilities are limitless.

?floating witch pictures?
Don?t witches melt in water? Or are they talking about a witch floating in the air? Maybe they?re looking for pictures of witches on inner tubes.

?top ten reasons why the girls were waving at me?
They wanted you to get the attention of the guy standing behind you.

?the weirdest thing in indiana you can buy?
Can?t say I?ve ever purchased anything in Indiana.

?cold mountain and a giant baby?
I love putting two random adjectives and two random nouns together with the article, ?and.? Tall plateau and skinny cherub! (Fun times!)

?build a hot tub?
I had a roommate in college who wanted to build a hot tub in our dorm room. The plan involved some sort of kiddie pool and a lot of hose. I protested on the grounds that we?d have raging mildew in our room. The stagnant water and lack of space also influenced my decision.

?monks and mt. dew?
An unbeatable combination!

?skeleton having sex?
I don?t think it?s possible for skeletons to have sex.

?drug addict hookers porn?
It seems you can find any kind of porn you want on the internet. That?s cool, I guess.

?sausage making in pittsburgh?
This person is obviously doing research for the coolest book report ever.

?ugly russian men?
Apparently we have ugly Russian men here on Plasmafunk. I didn?t know that.

?top ten racist companies?
That?s not a very funny Top Ten list.

?the beatles and satan?
Oh, I get it. The Beatles sold their souls so they could become famous. I really did learn something today.

?futon dude?
If he gets to be futon dude, I want to be couch man.

?what did the very first skateboard look like??
I think it probably looked like an ice cube tray. Oh wait. It looked like a freaking skateboard!

?take her virginity??
I saw this movie on TV the other night. This person was going around targeting virgins. So, all these kids from this one high school were going to get together and have a huge ?sex party? to lose their virginity. Does this seem like the worst plan of action they could?ve possibly taken? All the virgins are gathering together in the same location. Could they make it any easier for the serial killer to find them? While watching, I just kept thinking, ?If that murderer shows up, all those kids are really going to be screwed.? Anyways, I only caught like those ten minutes of the movie, so I have no idea what happened. Sorry.

?a man dressed in a sausage?
Hilarious!

?own a koala?
I hear those things can be pretty vicious. I can understand wanting one, though. They just look so darn cuddly.

?snuggling?
If I had a koala, I?d be sure to snuggle with it on a daily basis.

?keg party tall? and ?party ugly girl drive home?
Let?s just combine these two for our own entertainment. I went to the tall keg party only to drive the ugly party girl home.

?coolest thing since bubble wrap?
I find it hard to believe that something has been invented that?s cooler than bubble wrap.

If you'd like to try any of these searches go here.