Plasmafunk! | Random Plasmafunkery

There is a question that has been on my mind for a quite a long time. Ever since I saw my grandmother's collection of pirate based romance novels, I have wondered does anyone find Fabio attractive? I guess he's built ok, but, man, that hair is just a mess. It's so limp and thin. And his face just screams "I don't think much!" I think the only people who believe he is attractive are lonely housewives, but he seems to be some sort of pop-culture sexual reference. Why? Is it because of his fake butter commercials? Is it the poofy pirate shirt? If it's that, I've got it. It's in my closet. I can put it on if you like. Fine, there it is. It's on. Am I a sex god now? Ok. So back on the logic boat. Fabio frightens me greatly. He seems large and reckless. And what was the deal with him getting hit in the face with a goose on that rollercoaster? Did the goose survive? Was it attracted to Fabio sexually as well? So many questions, so few answers. If anyone can help me deduce Fabio's attractive powers, please email me or plasmafunkguy. I need your help. Oh, finally, I'd like to say that this article proves that I am so confident in my heterosexuality that I can question the seductive properties of other men.